Song of the Heart
by vcky-chan
Summary: She's an actress with an abusive boyfriend. He's been paired up with her in 2 series. He loves her, she's not sure if she's ready to accept his love Is there any hope for them? (TT) R & R please! Thanx! Chap. 6 up at last! Keep the reviews, comin!
1. An Invitation

*****Remember the tv series of Hana Yori Dango? It was called Meteor Garden. Anyway, in my story, the characters are movie stars. I used the real actors' and actresses' names. So you won't get confused, here's a guideline/list/whatever you want to call it:

        Tsukushi-Barbie Hsu

        Tsukasa-Jerry Yan

        Rui-Vic Zhu

        Soujiro-Ken Zhou

        Akira-Vanness Wu

        Amon-Mark Lan (I don't know his English name! I only know his Chinese

                   name, Lan Zhen Long.)

        Umi-Michelle Saram

        Yuki-Rainne Yang

That's just about it.

Chapter 1 

        "Mark, you won't believe it! This is so great! This is wonderful," Barbie Hsu said happily. They were eating dinner at her house. She got a beige envelope from her bag.

        "What is it? Stop screaming and jumping already. You're beginning to annoy me," Mark Lan, her boyfriend said flatly.

        "The entire cast of Meteor Garden 1 and 2 is gonna have a reunion!! It's gonna be on Jerry's birthday, January 1. I'm so excited! We're gonna see the others again! It's been months!"

        "I'm not going…."

        "Why?" She suddenly stopped smiling.

        "…..and neither are you."

        "Why?! How come?!"

        "You said we'd spend New Year together. Anyway, you know how I feel about social events."

        "We'll both be in the party. Besides, this is a special party!"

        "I'm not going!"

        "But the entire cast is gonna be there….."

        "I don't care about them. I only had a minor part anyway."

        "It's also Jerry's birthday. I thought you guys wee good friends."

        "You know I dislike him. He tried to take you away from me."

        Barbie looked away. It seemed only like yesterday……….

FLASHBACK 

        _"Why did you choose him over me?! Am I not good enough?! He barely pays any attention to you yet you still choose him! Even when you know he's just using you, you still love him! He doesn't love you Barbie!!  I love you but he doesn't," Jerry said. They were in her dressing room. It was the last day of shooting. "Please give me a chance."   _

_       She slapped him._

_      "Fine. If this is how you want it then so be it! Don't say I didn't warn you, Barbie. Someday, when we meet again, you'll realize what a big mistake this entire thing is. You'll realize that everything I 'm saying right now is true." With that, he stormed out of the dressing room._

_    She dropped to the floor, crying. She didn't know why, but his words hurt her badly. She cried for a few more minutes before Rainne, who played her best friend in the series came in and found her weeping._

_       "Are you okay Barbie?," Rainne asked. "We'll be shooting the last_

_scene in a few minutes."_

_       "Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little sad. It is the last day of shooting,"_

_Barbie replied. She wiped her tear-stained face with a hanky and went out_

_of the dressing room with Rainne._

_        The scenes between her and Jerry were awkward and weird that they_

_had to shoot some scenes several times………_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

        "I'm going, Mark. Whether you like it or not. I wanna see my

friends!"

        "Do you want to see your friends or Jerry?!"

        He walked out of the room and left.

        It had always been this way. They argued, he walked out, he

apologized and they'd reconcile. She went into her bedroom, played one of

F4's cd's, plopped on her bed, and stared at the ceiling.

_        I should have known that talking about Jerry would only hurt Mark._

I really do wanna go though. I wanna see them again….Vanness, Ken, Vic Rainne, Michelle, and Jerry……I wonder he's doing now though. Last time I heard about him was in the papers, a month ago. Some rumor about him and a

_non-showbiz woman going together….I don't know why but my heart aches,_

_thinking about him and another woman….STOP IT!!! My boyfriend is Mark Lan!!_

_I rejected Jerry before because I loved Mark! Me and Mark love each_

_other..At least I think we do……_

She stopped her train of thought and hit her head with a pillow. She sunk

into her covers and tried to fall asleep.


	2. Unexpected Guest

******Well, what did you guys think about my first chapter? Pretty stinky huh? Oh well…******

A few weeks later. . .

       "Good evening Miss Hsu," the butler said. She had just come back from a meeting with her agent.

       "Good evening, James," she replied.

       "You have a visitor, Miss."

       "Oh. Who is it, James?"

       "Miss Michelle Saram."

       "Michelle?!"

       "Yes, Miss."

       "Give her something to drink. I'll be with her in a moment."

       Barbie rushed to her room and changed into a baby pink dress. She sprayed some perfume on, brushed her long black hair and went down.

       "Barbie! You look smashing! It's been months since I've seen you! I miss you so much," the short-haired Singaporean said, hugging Barbie.

       "Hi Michelle! Thanks! You don't look so bad either! How are you? What brings you here? I can't believe you're here," Barbie said, hugging her friend back.

       "Woah Barbie! One question at a time! First of all, I'm fine! Actually, I have very interesting news. Anyway, I'm here because of the reunion thing. You are coming aren't you?"

        "I'm not so sure…Mark, he's uhmmmm, not sure if he wants to go and uhm, well, I promised to spend New Year's Day with him." She looked away as she felt tears in her eyes.

        "Girl, I think you need a listening ear. What's wrong Barbie?" She held Barbie's hand and brought her to the couch. Both of them sat down.

        "It's Mark. You know how he is…Forever jealous of other guys."

        "Other guys or…Jerry?"

        "Of other guys of course! Why would he be jealous of Jerry?" She faked a little laugh.

        "Barbie, we all knew he had a thing for you. We all actually thought that you guys would eventually go together. And then, well, Mark came and things changed."

         "Mark was caring, handsome, strong and he tried to protect me always."

         "I don't know why but he always struck me as a violent person."

         Barbie recalled the few times when Mark was really angry and had hit her. Those times were few but they had really happened. Just like the time when Vanness had called her to ask her to come to his birthday bash.

FLASHBACK

         "Hello?…..Vanness?….A party? Why?….You're birthday? I'll see……" 

_        Just then, Mark arrived._

_        "Who are you talking to?," he asked._

_        "Hold on a sec, Vann….Mark, it's Vanness."_

_        "Put the phone down," he said coldly._

_        "Huh?"_

_        "I said put it down."_

_        " O-okay…Vann, I'll call you back."_

_        Just as she pu the phone down, Mark hit her hard on her face._

_        "Ouch. What the hell did you do that for?!"_

_        "You flirt! B****"_

_        "What do you mean?" Her nose was bleeding._

_        "So I'm not good enough, huh? You just have to have one of the F4. Just because they're richer than I am. What do they give you just so you'd sleep with them?!"_

_        "What do you mean?! You know that's not true!"_

_        "Shut up!" He hit her again and walked out. Barbie had to stay home for a few weeks after the incident. It had been a first among similar incidents._

END OF FLASHBACK

         "Hello? Earth to Barbie? Are you okay?"

   "Yeah. Sure."

         "Whatever you say Barbie. Anyway, isn't he a violent person?"

         "No he isn't. Of course not. I mean why would I stick to a violent boyfriend?" _Why do I stick with a violent boyfriend like Mark? Fear?_

******Well, how was it? Hope you guys liked it. I'll try to update soon. Reviews welcome!!*****


	3. If Only

******So, how was my second chapter? As bad as the first one? I hope not. Anyway, I just realized that none of my stories have any disclaimers. So, I just wanna say that I DO NOT OWN HYD OR MG, unfortunately. This disclaimer goes for this ENTIRE fanfic and          "A Fool", my corny, angsty, one-shot. He he he. . . .******

        Michellerealized that her question had a certain effect on Barbie. _Could he be physically abusing her?,_ she thought.

        "So, Barbie, are you going or not?"

        "I do want to…." _But my boyfriend doesn't want me to….._

        "Then go. Mark doesn't own you anyway. He's just a worthless, selfish bastard."

        "He's my boyfriend, Michelle. Don't speak that way about him." _Though what you're saying is true._

      "I'm sorry Barbie, but it's how I feel. I can't help it. Although I only met him during the times when we were shooting Meteor Garden 2 and he was courting you, I really do get that impression. I can still remember the time when we had to shoot in Barcelona. He tagged along then. He almost didn't speak to Jerry entirely after that hotel room scene! He wasn't even your boyfriend then."

         Barbie winced as she remembered the incident. Although during that time she had told her self that Mark was just worried about the competition, she knew now that it was not true. Mark was just plain hot tempered and jealous of every guy that came along.

          "He was just worried about me."

          "Fat chance. Anyway, seeing that you aren't really willing to listen to me, I'll just change the topic. But before I do, just let me warn you, Barbie, Mark is a dangerous man. You better break up with him. And fast." _Another warning. Just like Jerry's._

          "I will do what I wish."

          "Fine. Do whatever you want to do."

          "Be assured that I will do as I want to."

          "Okay, okay, whatever. Stop the formality already. Anyway, you wanna help me shop for something to wear?"

           "Are you sure you wanna shop here? We'll be mobbed by fans."

           "I won't be mobbed. I only did one series here which was Meteor Garden and they hate my character."

           Both girls laughed at her comment. It was true though. Most people in Taiwan, specially those who supported the love story of Jerry's and Barbie's character hated Michelle's character, YeSa.

            "Still, they might want to throw tomatoes at me!!!"

           They laughed again and their conversation was light and happy after that.

            "Bye Barbie. See you tomorrow at four," michelle said running to her convertible. Suddenly, she stopped and went back to the door where Barbie was standing. "Don't forget what I told you."

            "Huh? I-I'll think about it. . . . ," Barbie said in whisper. Michelle didn't hear her 'cause Michelle was already in her car.

            Barbie went in her room and sat down. She reached for her bedside table's drawer and brought out an envelope. Tears fell down on the noteand the ink smeared. It didn't matter though. She knew it by heart.

 _Dear Barbie,_

_       I'm sorry if I hurt you last time. I didn't mean to. I love you and I'm just worried about you. I knew I loved you the moment I met you. I hope that one day you will learn to love me . . . .Wo ai ni (I love you)._

_   Jerry_

            _Michelle's words today hurt. Everything she said was true though. I've been denying it for months . . . I should have never gone with him. . . . I can't break up with him now. . . He'd just keep on hurting me and beating me. . .If only I listened to Jerry. . .If only. . . If only I realized then how much I . . . How much I really loved Jerry. . . My life. . .Is it destined to be full of regrets and "if only's" ? _

   She cried herself to sleep.

The next day. . . .

            "Wow! That was tiring," Barbie said, plopping down on one of the soft chairs in Starbuck's. "I'll order. What do you want?"

            "Iced cappuccino," Michelle said."

            "Okay."

            Barbie was waiting for her change and happened to glance at the door. There, at the door was a tall man with black, wispy hair up to his shoulders. He was handsome and muscular. He glanced at the counter where Barbie was standing and their eyes locked.

            _No way. It can't be him. . . ._

*********Ooooh. . . .who do you think is the tall and handsome guy? Pretty obvious, huh? Oh well! 'Till next time! Ja ne!!******


	4. Just Like Old Times

******Hi people!! I noticed that most of my fics have wrong spellings or some of the supposed-to-be-italicized words aren't italicized. It's because my computer's old and it sucks. Sorry for that. Anyway, thanks for the reviews so far! Keep them coming please!!!*******

          _  He's coming this way! Oh, what am I gonna do? Wait a second, what am I worrying about? He was my friend. . .Before I rejected his love. . . .STOP!!! I have to think rationally. . .Come on, Barbie, be calm. . . ._

      "Hi Barbie," a deep voice said. Barbie's train of thought stopped upon hearing it.

            "J-jerry!! Hello," she said doing her best to remain calm.

            "I didn't expect to find you here."

            "Uhmm. . .Me too."

            By this time, the cashier gave Barbie her money.

            "Uhmm, Jerry, you wanna sit with me and Michelle?," Barbie asked.

            "Sure," Jerry replied smiling.

            Michelle was as surprised as Barbie when she saw Jerry. The three of them sat down, Jerry beside Barbie and  Michelle in front of Barbie.

            "I can't believe you're here! It's such a coincidence," she said. "How have you been? How's your love life? Are you seriously dating that non-showbiz woman? How did you get here without being mobbed?"

             "Slow down, Michelle. First of all, I'm fine. I didn't get mobbed because my bodyguards are outside, making sure that nobody else gets in. People can get out but not in."

             "Okay."

             "How come you guys weren't mobbed?"

             "Everybody in Taiwan hates me."

             "They sure do. Nobody recognized me 'cause I wore this," Barbie said pulling out a bonnet from her bag.

             "What about my "love life" question, Jerry?"

             "Oh, well, nothing much. I'm still loveless. Still hoping that my one true love will come," he replied, turning to Barbie.

             _ What the hell does he mean?! Why is he looking at me like that?_

              "Then the news about you wasn't true?"

              "Nope. I don't have time to date anyway."

              _I don't know why but I feel happy, seeing that he still single. . . Maybe, there's till a chance for us to be together. Maybe, he will be able to help me get rid of Mark. . .STOP!!! I'm supposed to forget about him! There is no hope for us!_

              "How's F3?," Michelle asked.

              "Well, Ken's doing okay. He's having voice lessons. Vic's still shooting and Vanness and Vivian are still going strong. Actually, they're coming to Taiwan 3 days from now. We're trying to finish our 3rd album. My album's set to come out on December 31. The eve of my 27th birthday."

              "I didn't realize you were so old!"

              "I'm the same age as Barbie, only her birthday is 3 months before mine. She's the old one!"

              "I'm not old," Barbie said.

              "Yes you are! You're older than me!"

              "By 3 months only, Xiao Bai Tu!!! Three months!" __

_              I haven't called him Xiao Bai Tu (Little Rabbit) in a long time. . . .            _    "Vanness was right about calling you Da Jie! You are old after all!"

              "Da Jie sounds better than Xiao Bai Tu! Xiao Bai Tu sounds like a baby's nickname! So does Xiao V (Vanness's nickname)!"

              "Vanness is called Xiao V because he's still little compared to you, DA JIE!"

              "Okay you two, stop the squabbling already," Michelle said, butting in.

             The three of them continued chatting until it was starting to get dark. Barbie had become less stiff after their little squabble so they had lots of fun. Unfortunately, their fun had to stop because the 3 of them had other things to attend to.

              "Bye, guys. Ill see you on Jerry's birthday, okay?," Michelle said, getting into her convertible.

              "Bye," Jerry and Barbie said in unison.

              "I'll be going now Jerry. By," Barbie said approaching her car.

              "It was great to see you again Barbie. Bye," Jerry said, hugging Barbie.

_              He smells so good. Just like he did back when we were shooting._

              "I meant everything I said that afternoon in your dressing room," Jerry added in a whisper.             

              "Huh? What do you mean?" Jerry didn't hear her though. He was already in his car.

              Barbie got into her car and started driving to her house.

              _It was a fun afternoon. Just like old times.  Just like the times when I wasn't under Mark's authority. Speaking of that bastard, I wonder why he hasn't called since the night I brought up the party. He's probably out with some model whores again. I hope he never calls._

 Upon arriving in her house, Barbie found a black car outside.

              _Shit. Mark is here._

              "Miss, Mark is here," James said.

              "I know," Barbie replied.

              "Where the hell have you been?," Mark said when he saw Barbie.

              "Out with M-michelle," she replied.

              "Michelle?! You liar! I saw you, Michelle and Jerry together in Starbuck's," Mark said.

              "We met Jerry accidentally."

              "You expect me to believe you?! You worthless whore!" Then he punched Barbie in the face. 

              "You're calling me a whore you bastard?! You wanna know who the whores are?! The whores are the women who actually agree to sleep with you!"

              "Why you worthless b****!" He punched Barbie again. Then he kicked her really hard.

              The butler, James, who had heard the commotion entered the living room.

             "Miss! What happened?," James aid rushing to Barbie's side. "Mr.Lan what did you do to Miss Hsu?!"

             "The whore deserved it," Mark said and walked out the door. 

*****Well how was it? Reviews welcome! Ja ne!****              


	5. Regrets Come Afterwards

*****Hi guys!!! Did you miss me? Or has everybody stopped reading this crap I call "Song of the Heart"? I haven't updated lately because of exam week. My brain feels so drained already that making this chapter is really giving me a headache. Another thing that I wanna say is that I noticed that a reviewer said that MG is not the series of HYD. Actually, what I meant then was that MG is the "tv" version. I didn't mean that MG was the "anime". Anyway, here's another chapter. Hope you like it.*****

     Barbie opened her eyes and saw a slim figure sitting beside her bed.

     "Rainne! What are you doing here?," she asked the nineteen year old as she tried to sit up. "Ouch."

     "Take it easy, girl," Rainne said, placing a pillow behind Barbie's back to make the other girl's sitting easier.

     "Gee, thanks."

     "No problem."

     "What time is it?"

     "Two thirty in the afternoon."

     "Oh. What brings you here, anyway? I thought you were in HK along with the others in 4 In Love. Don't you have a concert coming up?"

     "I'm here because of the reunion thingy on Jerry's birthday. Our concert's on Jan. 3 so I still have a few days to relax. Besides, Christmas is in a couple of days. Of course, I'm spending it in Taiwan. What are you gonna do for Christmas?"

      "Go to my parent's house maybe. My sister's flying in from her shooting in Singapore."

      "Oh."

      Suddenly, there was a silence between the 2 girls.

      "Uhmm. . .Barbie?"

      "What?"

      "Uhmm. . .how did you get that black eye? And the bruises on your arms?"

      "This?" She placed a hand on her eye. It hurt. It hurt real bad. She looked at the girl in front of her and turned away as tears started to fall from her eyes.

      _Rainne. . .If only I could tell you about the pain I've been going through. I didn't have the guts to tell Michelle. I don't think I have the guts to tell you either._

      "What's wrong? What happened?"

"I-I fell down the stairs." 

      "Oh. For a moment there I thought somebody beat you up."

      "W-why did you think that someone beat me up?"

      "Well, when I came here, James was mumbling something which sounded like, 'I'll get that bastard for doing that to Miss Hsu' or something."

       "Well, James is pretty old."

       "Yeah. Anyway, how's Mark? Aren't you spending Christmas with him?"

       "Oh. Uh…uhmm….he's kina busy with his family so uhmm…we probably won't spend Christmas together."

       "At least on New Year's we'll all be together. you, me, mark, Jerry, Vic, Ken, Vanness, Michelle, Mark and all the others."

      "Yeah."

      The two continued talking 

      "Anyway, I have to go. It's getting pretty late and I might be tiring you."

        "You're not tiring me at all. Actually, I prefer some female company once in awhile."

        "I still need to go anyway. I have an evening date."

        "Oh? With who?"

        "That's for me to know and for you to find out! Bye!" She gave Barbie a quick hug and left.

        Barbie got up and went to the balcony of her room. It was already sunset and the view was beautiful.

        _The view here is so beautiful. Actually, from the outside, everything about my life seems beautiful. They don't know about my bruises, my broken heart, and all of my other problems._

_        I never expected my life to turn out like this. I started my showbiz life with a blast. Now, I'm nothing but a mere wall flower. I have no new movies. No new series. Even my sister's more popular than me now. My agent received a lot of scripts for me. Even an offer to do Meteor Garden III and other movies with F4 members. Sure, I have a few singing gigs with ASOS but it's not enough. I miss the spotlight a lot._

_       Actually, I would be having more shows if only I didn't allow Mark to have power over me. If only I didn't get beat up by him so often. _

_       Oh well, didn't they say that regrets always come afterwards?_

_       I was the one who decided to go with Mark. That means going with him is my responsibility. I have to stick with it. Even if I get hurt in the process, I have to be strong. Just like Mu Ye San Cai in Meteor Garden._

***Well? Reviews welcome! Ja ne!***


	6. Sunset

*****Hello again!!!! I'm extremely sorry for the ultra slow update!!!!! My internet account was cut off cause I forgot to pay the internet company. Another reason was that I was grounded cause I got a low grade in my General Science test………Bummer…….Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter!******

         Days had gone by since the day Rainne had talked to Barbie. Still, she could not shake off the thoughts that her friends visit brought about. Her only consolation was watching the sun set from her bedroom window. Somehow, it kept her calm. It kept her from breaking down or worse, committing suicide.

         _Regrets come afterwards. _She kept on thinking about that particular statement while she waited for her sister's plane to arrive.

         "Hi Dee," Barbie said, hugging her sister Dee Hsu. She had fetched Dee at the airport.

         "Hi sis," Dee replied. She looked a lot like Barbie only her face was more bony and her hair was shorter with blond streaks. "I missed ya!"

         "Me too!"

         They grabbed Dee's luggage and went to Barbie's car.

         "How've you been? I heard about the reunion thingy from Vic. You going?"

         "Uhmmm….maybe. It depends. It's Mark….well…..he doesn't want to go."

         "So? It's your life. That guy doesn't own you, you know." Dee slammed the trunk of Barbie's car. it was no secret that Dee disliked her sister's boyfriend. The rest of the Hsu family didn't think highly of him either.

          "Dee, this is no the time to get into that argument again," Barbie said as she drove towards the Hsu family townhouse.

          "We wouldn't be arguing about this stuff if you'd listened to my advice."

 _FLASHBACK_

_          "Sis, I'm telling you! That guy's no good. I saw him with another girl at the bar last night! He just wants your popularity! Believe me…..Please," Dee told her older sister._

_          "Dee, you could have been wrong. It was a bar….Besides, you ere drinking," Barbie insisted. "He was in his parent's house last night._

_          "How do you know?"_

_          "He told me….'_

_          "You actually believe every damn thing that bastard tells you?!"_

_          "I trust him!"_

_          "But you don't trust me?!"_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

      Barbie felt tears in her eyes as she thought back to the time when the two had argued not more than a year ago. She was wearing a long sleeved top to hide her bruises. They had turned from violet to a sort of greenish color. Her black eye was already light enough to the point that it could be hidden with a little make up.

            "I promised Mark I'd spend New Year's with him."

            "So? He's a member of the cast too."

            "Well, anyway, now's not the time to talk about it."

            "Whatever."

            The two spent the rest of the drive home in silence. After arriving at their house, Dee greeted her parents and went to her room. Barbie did the same.

             She sat next to her window.  The sun was about to set and the sky looked simply lovely. 

             _Hmm….it's weird, the way sunsets have kept me going. I mean, if it weren't for these sunsets, I wouldn't be doing much reflecting and I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from committing suicide._

_             The effect of the sunset's beginning to fade though…..I don't think I can keep myself from breaking down in front of others anymore. Pretty soon, someone's gonna know….._

_             But I can't let anybody find out. I have to be strong…..If I must, I shall build a wall around myself….A wall which will divide me from my family, my friends……_

              She started to change into another shirt and more comfortable jeans when she heard the door open.

              "Barbie," Dee said the word in a whisper.

              "Huh," Barbie said, surprised.

              "What-what happened to your arms?" Barbie's ivory skin was now full of greenish splotches.

              "It-it-it's nothing." Barbie avoided looking at her sister.

              "Nothing?! You call those bruises nothing?!" Dee grabbed her sister's wrist.

              "I-I-I fell down the stairs."

              "Stairs?! You look like someone beat you up!"

              "Of-of course not. Who would beat me up?" She forced a little laugh.

              "That bastard you call your boyfriend, maybe!"

              Just then, their mother called Barbie to come down.

              "I'm coming mom!"

              "This conversation isn't over," Dee said, letting go of Barbie's wrist.

              As Barbie came down the stairs, she was surprised to see a tall figure of a man standing nar the front door. His back was to her but she knew his figure.

               "J-jerry," she said. Her voice was barely a whisper.

               "Barbie! I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by. I wanted to talk to you about some thing anyway."

               "Let's take a walk in the garden, then."

               Barbie led the way.

               "What did you want to say," Barbie asked.

               "Nothing, actually. I just wanted to see you,'' Jerry said and gave her one of his megawatt smiles which made just about every girl melt.

                _God….Jerry….please….don't make me break down now…._

                Barbie felt the wall she'd built around herself crumble.

                _God help me…..don't make those feelings resurface…..please….._

****That's it for now! Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews please! If you guys wanna review me personally, you can email me at goddess_vicky2000@yahoo.com! Ja ne!****


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